1810 c/o Holger Gross

i don't think i can write any more or if i could
or if i can only do things i can do
with impaired focus or in a second like
pitching mariah carey up and down and even then
it's just Audacity that does that
all the heavy lifting
and not even a month ago i filled my bag with rocks and stood on waterloo bridge
and nothing happened
im still moving
stood still // still moving
what a complicated guy!
im a guy who has to be seen to be believed
i can fly
it is vital that you see this man in motion the man is me
like a puma like a top gear like im feelin this by blink 182
                                                                                 or like a flip book
                                                                                                    where the 1st page is a close up of my sad-face with the words 'i know who dj khaled is' underneath and
                                                                          page 2 is a close-up of my smiling-face and something super-heavy like the chemical symbol for lead and then you just flip back and forth and see with your  eyes just how
complicated i am
will i am
that's how you write a poem when your focus is impaired or in a second
you just say some random shit that seems right
or sounds like
a joke and must contain a reference to something existing now something the room can feel good about
  what else what else what else?
my parents my parents my parents
my main contribution to the Divorce of My Parents
was falling down dehydrated on our all family Vacations
                       my lil body would dry out and then I'd fall down
not quite there on the tarmac after the plane but maybe in disney world
they'd carry me out the park on a stretcher and
i'd wake up in a room with no windows and a pregnant lady

sounds just like my usual saturday monday saturday morning i j/k i j/k

all that matters to me in this moment is that i am seen as a Nice Boy
at least three hours a day pushing this argument on tinder
                                              april and i've already tried to be a christian
                                              for a girl and then there's the date i met in a
                                              and e after she thought the police were com—
                                              ing after her and the ~marriage and in amon—
                                              gst it all the rocks in my bag on waterloo bri—
i asked her to ask me why and so far she never has
it smells like i've been sleeping in here
so i better lay some wet laundry on the radiator
freshen the air with the smell of it heating up before she comes
in the new year jan and feb were the last two months
to be added to the roman calendar // the romans considered winter to be a monthless period