1704 c/o Elin Hellmark Kristoffersson


“What is the punishment?
The punishment? Well, I guess it'll be the usual.
The usual?
Yes. The punishment is loneliness.”

- Wild Strawberries (1957)

(in the morning): do you remember that time when you tried to pull down my zipper but the zipper got stuck? Do you remember that it was my fault, you said, you said it was my fault, do you remember your finger on my nipple? It's hard for me to relax, I said. Well then, you said. No cigarettes for you! If you're keeping yours on I'm keeping mine on too. Do you remember that?

The wild strawberry says: there is no need to be stupid. We are wild strawberries. We have integrity.

(on Tuesday): do you remember what you said, Jesus, you said. Do you remember that time when you rolled off of me and I said you smell! You too! you said. Do you remember when I pulled on the retractable cord and it pulled in on itself, do you remember the light that spread? I'm channelling my inner priest, you said, and I said: I have told you what you want to hear many, many times. And not even once in bed! Isn't that something? I said. And you said: the things you say. They tell me you have no idea what I want to hear.

The wild strawberry says: stop crying! Be quiet, sit up straight, be polite, do not talk to anyone. Do not tell me you love me in that tone of voice! We are not children. Do not fuck me and pretend that we are children!

(eating breakfast): do you remember that time when I tried to close a window but the window got stuck? Do you remember the breeze? Do you remember that I cursed you, do you remember that you had a stroke? Do you remember that you thought I cursed you when really you were having a stroke and you blamed me and you said what do you want from me? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU! Do you remember that we were shouting only you couldn't shout because of the stroke so instead you hurt me: no you don't, you said, you don't want to be with me. If you did you would have said things differently.

The wild strawberry says: let's keep in touch!

(standing at the door): do you remember the end? This is silly, I said. Just give me the cigarette and we'll call it quits. After that. Do you remember how I looked with my head cut off? I don't remember the end. Oh boy.

The wild strawberry says: can’t you see I’m trying to love you in my native language?