1466 c/o Alec Bryan

The Lain Egg hatched the Reformation

Praise to folly. For it is by his invention humans esteem adoxography more than sound doctrine. Even the Pope, Leo X, attuned to spiritual truths, couldn’t help but laugh when folly, disguised as orthodoxy, pranced around and upon the traditional Catholic views. Luckily, a scribe, accompanying Leo X and in charge of chalking any divine declarative, preserved the dialogue between Folly and Leo X. The conversation took place during Leo’s nightly reading and stems from his contemplation and imagination and perhaps, a little too much wine.

Leo X: (laughing) Ah, you’ve got us there.

Folly: Grabbing a bull by the horns is much more dangerous and less efficient than grabbing it by the testicles.

Leo X: Yes, this is true. We would prefer if you didn’t grab us there at all, and if you must, why such a firm grip?

Folly: The truth is best extracted from squeezing, applying pressure to areas of particular tenderness. It is the only way it gets away with such bold exclamations.

Leo X: Yes, we know this method. We have been applying the grip of truth to our devout followers for years. How else would we fill our coffers? This is why I have beckoned you to my side. We have a proposition to make you. We feel it is best to employ you and benefit from your services rather than suffer the ignominy of being exploited so humorously.

Folly: Money speaks louder than truth and is much more popular. But, of course, you already know that.

Leo X: Yes, again with your wit, you have surmised the truth of truths. We simply ask you to state your terms and we will gladly oblige.

Folly: Well, monetary gains are nice, but I prefer to have a say in the doctrine.

Leo X: (excitedly) What did you have in mind?

Folly: I want to make it more confusing and harder to derive at a true conception of God.

Leo X: Have we not been doing a good job at that already?

Folly: Unintentional, yes. Intentionally, no. I wish to employ a stratagem much more proficient and easier to keep people in line.

Leo X: What exactly do you wish of us? We are already the blind leading the blind.

Folly: Yes, this is true, but, “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”

Leo fell asleep after Folly spoke his last phrase. When he woke up and donned his daily apparel, he was surprised to notice a new assistant waiting to greet him at the door. He couldn’t help but recognize a wry smile sneaking out of the corner of the new assistant’s lips. Leo thought to himself: “I like this assistant already.”