1403 c/o Crispin Best


Day One: Today a bird landed on my shoulder. We looked at each other for a while. I felt OK. I’m going to call today ‘day one’.

Day Two: Two young boys shouted at me while I was sitting on a bench. I must have looked at them.

Day Three: I met a girl! I was behind her in the queue at the post office. She answered her phone. I heard the other person call her ‘Priscilla’.

Day Five: Today it rained and then it sunned. After that the sky was a single cloud.

Day Seven: I have been writing letters to myself and posting them one at a time.

Day Nine: I saw Priscilla! At the post office again. She was wearing a jean jacket. She looked like a movie star. I had just posted a letter to myself that said: You can do it!

Day Ten: I saw Priscilla again. Twice in two days. At the greengrocers this time. She was buying kiwi fruits and a punnet of blueberries.

Day Twelve: Today I had a bowl of cereal but my mouth was too small for the spoon. It was frustrating. I have been spending a lot of time at the greengrocers.

Day Thirteen: I miss Priscilla.

Day Fifteen: Today I asked the greengrocer if he knew Priscilla. I reminded him that she was the one who bought kiwis and blueberries last week. He gave me cock-eyes.

Day Sixteen: Today I followed someone that was wearing a jean jacket. I was going to ask them where they bought it. By the time I got courage, they were gone. I didn’t recognise the streets. I went into a locksmiths and they told me I was ten miles away. I just now got home.

Day Eighteen: I found a full roast chicken in the gutter. I didn’t know what to do with it.

Day Nineteen: I saw her! I saw her! I saw her!

Day Twenty: I saw Priscilla yesterday! She was on a bench. I got courage. I walked past her very slowly a few times. One time, she sneezed. I said bless you. I said it very quietly. I don’t think she heard. When she left, I followed. I know where she lives!

Day Twenty-two: I went to Priscilla’s the last few days. She lives in a basement. I think she lives on her own. She sleeps on her side.

Day Twenty-four: This morning I tried to follow Priscilla when she left her house. I don’t like trams. It was crowded. There were too many people touching her. I got very angry. I had to get off.

Day Twenty-five: I have been spending most of my time at Priscilla’s. She is out a lot of the time. She comes home in the evenings. She carries her supper in a bag. I can see her shoulder sometimes when she sits at the dinner table. Her shoulder is perfect. When there are no cars I think perhaps I can hear her breathing. I like her windows a lot. They are very clean.

Day Twenty-six: I like Priscilla asleep. She doesn’t look calm like other people.

Day Twenty-eight: I noticed a lump in Priscilla’s armpit. Does that sound strange? It was very clear in the moonlight while she slept. It was magnificent. It was sexy. Her house is very, very empty and has wooden floors.

Day Twenty-nine: I think Priscilla took the day off work. Or school. I can not tell how old Priscilla is. Today she stayed at home and lay on the sofa. There was horseracing on her television.

Day Thirty: A woman has noticed I am spending a lot of time around Priscilla’s. She swept the pavement quite aggressively very near to me. She seemed angry. I told her that her broom looked good. Today I forgot to eat again.

Day Thirty-one: Nobody visits Priscilla. She is covered in beautiful bumps now. They are on her neck and arms. She looks unhappy. She stays in bed a lot where I can look at her.

Day Thirty-two: A doctor came to visit Priscilla. I think he was a doctor. He was wearing a wide-brimmed hat, a black cloak, galoshes, and a mask with a long beak like a bird. He was holding a thin, pointed cane. His eyes were behind red lenses. He walked down the stairs to Priscilla’s front door. Priscilla took a very long time to get out of bed and let him in. She has lost weight. She looks really good. The doctor prodded her with his cane for a while.

Day Thirty-three: The doctor came again. Priscilla is now covered in red freckles. They look very cute. After the doctor finished prodding, he sat opposite Priscilla and shook his head. Then straightaway he left. I started to follow him but instead went back to Priscilla’s and watched through the window and she cried and cried.

Day Thirty-four: The woman with the broom came and looked at me again. She asked me why I was there so much. I tried to think. I said I was there about the gas. She nodded and went back indoors.

Day Thirty-five: Today some blood came out of Priscilla’s mouth. It was bright. The colour. It was really bright. There are more freckles now. And they are darker. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever, ever seen.

Day Thirty-six: Someone has painted a red cross on Priscilla’s door. I am very, very angry at them. Priscilla is noisy during the night. There was some more blood. Whenever she moves she is slow and pulls a face. It is a beautiful face.

Day Thirty-seven: I was watching when Priscilla opened her eyes this morning. Her skin is very dark now. She opened her eyes once. There was blood speckling the pillow and sheets. She looked at the blood and then she closed her eyes again.

Day Thirty-nine: There was an eclipse tonight. Or the moon went behind a cloud. Priscilla doesn’t move any more. She hasn’t opened her eyes today.

Day Forty: Three doctors came and took Priscilla away. They put her in the back of a van. They saw me looking through the van’s window and told me to get out of there. I told them I wanted to say goodbye to Priscilla. They told me to get out of there right now. They told me to mind my business. I told them I didn’t have any business and then they looked at me with those red eyes. They got in the van and drove away. I stood there for a while. I looked at the cross on her door. Then I came home.